We all have been there. We all know about narcissists; we all know who they are. But the thing is, they have lucky charms that work for them just fine. They carry the dirty laundry while making sure that nobody sees that the king is naked. So, it is very hard to live in this world which looks like it is created for and serves these manipulators.
Narcissists have multiple faces, each more deceitful than the previous. They talk and engage socially in a group, often being liked by everyone. But, beware, they usually have one target – the most compassionate person of the group. The person who has qualities of compassion, empathy, and integrity. Why? Because the narcissist envies anyone who is better than themselves. In their mind, this particular person becomes the ultimate threat that needs to be eliminated. The narcissist feels that they should dim their light. Fast.
Sadly, the target will be able to see the true face of the narcissist. But, they won’t be able to do anything because they have too deep a connection with the narcissist. This happens in any situation where the narcissist is able to manipulate and abuse the other.
So, how does the narcissist gets away from all the abuse and come out as a good person?
They are masters at managing how others see them. They praise their victims in public while demonizing them elsewhere. They provoke emotional reactions, making it look like they are the victims instead of abusers. When a narcissist meets someone for the first time, they label them; they decide whether the person is someone that can be used and/or a threat. If she/he does not fall under either category, the narcissist simply does not bother. But, if they do fall under the category the narcissist will first praise and adore them, only to devalue and discard them later. Praising and adoring is the first stage. After this stage, the narcissists keep the victim off balance, making them wonder where they stand in his/her life, causing pain and doubt in their hearts.
In this manipulative labyrinth woven by the narcissist, the only winner is the narcissists. And the victim who is able to leave the narcissist.
Narcissists have something around them which makes them very likable to people. In psychology, this is called the halo effect. It is often perceived in real life as being charming. For example, we think that somebody is charming and we quickly assume that they must be smart and good too.
Narcissists maintain a false veneer of trustworthiness and integrity. They chose their victims carefully; often, it is the ones who have not seen their true self or the ones who are willing to discard the red flags.
If the narcissist feels they are in trouble of being exposed, they are quick to blame the victim, saying that they want to cause problems for nothing.
And why can’t we deal with narcissists effectively?
It is because, when somebody treats us badly, we tend to project our empathy and convince ourselves that they are good deep down. And that is why it is important to speak up. We should awaken our inner voices and spread awareness to confront them. Together, we can end this madness.