By. Anuradha
All the people that we meet in the world are not equal. You will meet friends, you will meet haters and you will also meet haters who are disguised as friends. When you meet the third type, you will not understand their true nature at first and will identify their real face only after some time. They will hold grudges against you and will try to make your life a living hell.
However, holding grudges is an extremely toxic habit. There is a famous quote that says “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick”. People will hold grudges thinking that the other person would fail and face bad consequences but in reality, what happens is the opposite. It is the person who holds the grudge feel negative consequences and they rot inside particularly when they hold grudges for wrong reasons.
Some people will hold grudges against you for something that they did.
They will hold grudges for the way that you reacted to certain situations. They will hold grudges if you blew up a situation. They would think that you are just being aggressive. If you just let it go, even then they would hold grudges for not creating the fire that they wanted. They will hold grudges no matter what you do and the only thing that you are supposed to do is either rectify the situation or move past it.
Ask them what you need to do to make it better.
You might not have done anything bad to them or sometimes you might have just reacted fairly for something that they did. But, it’s always good to be proactive. They will want you to have the ball in your court and will wait till you rectify the situation.
So, don’t wait. Just go and ask them what should be done to make the things okay. That will give them an opportunity to fix the things if you have done anything wrong and will also force them to analyze the issue correctly with more clarity.
Realize they might need to hold onto the grudge.
When you have been hurt by someone, it is natural for you to feel angry and feel a need to hate them back. But, before coming to that phase always think whether they had any reason to do that. Question yourself about what was their past like, what is their present situation and do they need to be defensive.
There are many people who have been in the hands of a narcissist, with abusers or who have had a terrible past. Such people try to build a huge wall around themselves and they will hold grudges against others just for the heck of it. so, when dealing with such people, you have to act with your brain. Sometimes, even a simple apology will make them feel good and therefore, always try to step in other person’s shoe and deal with them. Try to rectify the situation and you will feel good when you know that you have made things right!