By: Anuradha
She didn’t realize that she was in love with a narcissist. That is the problem of falling in love with a narcissist. You will never know until you are too late and until you are broken.
Even when she wanted to stop herself from loving him, she couldn’t do that. She had to wait until it stops in its own way. Narcissists are so good in disguise. He never showed his real face until she gets trapped in his scheme and that is why she couldn’t take the right decision. If she knew his real face earlier, she would have at least prevented herself from giving him a chance. Yet, unfortunately, she met a player that she couldn’t outplay.
She was the victim of that game where he always won. It was too late when she finally gathered up her courage and decided to resign. Even now, those memories of her bad days are haunting in her mind and giving her nightmares. She still struggles with the bad memories of her past and she is not confident about most of the moves that she is going to take in future either.
Her tormenter is haunting her everywhere and no matter where she looks, there is always something to remind her of him. Every time when someone else tries to win her heart and give her solace, she turns away because she is afraid that everyone else will also use her in the same way as he did. She would rather protect her heart than letting it be wounded by someone else.
Now she doesn’t trust anyone at all. She was a casual, care-free girl once, but now everything has changed. She hardly trusts anyone because she knows the consequences of trusting the wrong person. The gates to her heart are sealed with firm iron because she can’t bear up a pain like that again.
She is scared to love again. She doesn’t believe in true love and she questions the meaning of love. Yeah, there was a time where she only needed to love and to be loved. She had a dream to hold his hand and walk with him throughout her life but now all those have become jus fancies. Love is only associated with pain for her and she is suffering from a swelling wound inside. The man whom she trusted chose to be a narcissist and break her and now, she has become blind to true love.
She is not sure about herself now. She thinks that she is not good enough because that is how he taught her to think. She always doubts her capacities and skills and she always deal with internal struggle. She feels empty and she has no idea what to do next. She is afraid to feel anything so that she chose to feel nothing. Even though it is lonely, she knows that it is much easier.
She knows her behavior will only raise questions in other’s minds but she doesn’t want to explain herself to others. People would ask why didn’t she leave earlier from her relationship, but only she knows how hard it was for her to take that move. No one has gone through what she underwent and therefore, she knows that no one can understand her either. She chooses isolation because that is peaceful and she can manage it.
Her old self is no longer there with her. She thinks that she will never smile like he used to be and never be happy like her old days. But what she really needs is someone who can understand her and make her realize that life is better than she thinks it to be. She needs someone to prove true love is really beautiful and that she is not a lost cause.
She needs someone who will consider her to be his priority and someone who will always make her feel special. She needs to have a second chance and if possible, you can be the one to give her that.
Love her in the right way and make her see what you can give her. She will be a good companion and all that you need to do is to invest yourself in her!