There are people who are in happy marriages with everything they could ever ask for; but still, the fall for someone else, someone who is completely opposite, someone who threatens to destroy everything.
When marriage was invented, so was adultery. In the US, when an affair that goes against the sacredness of marriage happens, everyone is concerned about the victim of the betrayal. Infidelity in any form hurts. But it hurts more when it comes from the loved ones, the partners. And technology makes it worse. With all the reminders of text messages, video calls and voice notes, we are reminded of the betrayal over and over again.
Psychologists say that it is important to see both sides. They say that affairs reveal more about marriages and partners, and they even help improvement.
But the question remains. Is this true?
They say that affairs are not what they used to be in the past since the course of marriage has changed drastically. While marriage was more or less concerned about financial stability in the past, now it is more fixated on having a companion, a partner with whom we can spend the rest of our lives. Today, marriage is not based on an obligation and a duty, but on respect and love.
When we get married, we wow to remain together in sickness and in health, in good and in bad, in wealth and in poverty. With all these promises, why do people still cheat? Especially when they say that they are in happy marriages. Freedom of choice and the possibility of divorce has not stopped cheating. Why is that? Why do happy people cheat?
Many people blame their spouseS. They say that, unlike with their partners, they feel alive with their lovers. For many who cheat, it is an exploration of themselves, of their lost and/or new identity. Thus, unfaithfulness becomes a way of growing, transforming and exploring.
They can say whatever they want but for me, cheating is cheating. There are no excuses. It is selfish, cruel and extremely abusive; no words can describe that pain.
It is a choice. It is the willingness to risk everything, the willingness to hurt the loved ones. And it is not fair to the other person; nobody should be treated like that.
So stop with this madness. No more excuses. If something is wrong, if something is lacking, tell your partner. Work stuff out. Be reasonable. If you no longer love them, tell it loud and clear.
Because nobody has the right to hurt the other. Nobody has the right to destroy someone else’s dreams like that. And you cannot cheat on your partner and call yourself a good person. No, you can’t.