Marriage can be wonderful for some and the reverse for some others. but, the basic logic behind its success or failure lies totally in the way that the couple handles it. if you treat your marriage in the right way, surely your life will be a heaven and it can be the reverse if you don’t treat it in the right way.
Here is the advice of a divorced woman to have a better marriage life. Read all these things carefully and please take a mental note as what should be changed in your life in order to have a better life.
I’m a woman divorced after 7 years of marriage.
Given my experience, there are some key concepts I learned in my journey as well. We, women, have equal responsibility in making a marriage work. For all the points mentioned for husbands, there are perhaps also some for wives I would like to share.
1. Always seek out the best in him. Dwell on those things, not what you don’t like about him.
2. Have sex with him. Often. All the time if need be.
i. Best advice received from an older woman on the eve of my wedding 12 years ago: Make love a lot, especially when you don’t feel like it. Making love is a balm, it covers and heals a lot of the wounds we inflict on one another in a marriage. When you feel like you just aren’t close to your spouse, that’s the time to take off your clothes and get close. Boy-oh-boy was Janice right!
3. Seek counsel from older, wiser women who have succeeded in their marriages. It’s impossible to make good decisions when we’re emotional. And seeking counsel from your friends who are your own age isn’t as good as counsel from elderly women.
4. Let him zone out. He is not ignoring you, men just have moments of brain freeze.
5. We are responsible for our reactions, no one else. We must take full accountability of our emotions and how we respond. And so must he.
6. Allow your man to just be. Be a comfort, be a gentle and giving spirit when the times call for it.
7. Love him in the way he needs it, not the way you assume he needs it. Find out your different love languages and be sensitive and ready to show him you love him in ways he understands best.
8. Make yourself look pretty. The more feminine you act the more it reminds him he is a man.
9. Be present. Give him your time and attention when he needs it. In my experience, during those times I did serve him, he over time, served me.
10. Never talk about other men, even if they are fictional or movie, even if it’s to say “you are so much hotter than that guy” Most men already think they are, so this will confuse them.
11. Be willing to have him sexually. Let him know you need his masculine presence, that you trust him fully.
12. Never read advice on the internet from strangers. They probably don’t know you and will make you do stupid crap that will not be applicable or appropriate in your marriage…
13. Give him space and allow your man to just be. He needs times to find his new self (we change constantly) before he can give of himself.
14. By doing these things it would not mean a wife doesn’t expect her husband to be great too or is to blame for the breakdown, just that she is doing her part to make a better half of a marriage.
15. Be vulnerable Do not be afraid to share your fears and feelings. Men tend to know when we’re keeping things from them. And they know when we’re transparent. And, I can’t emphasize this more: acknowledge your mistakes. Say you’re sorry when you know you need to.
16. Allow your husband to love you his way instead of comparing his expression of love to your own ideas. If you keep comparing, you may miss the most beautiful moments of tenderness.
17. Don’t ever, ever, ever put your spouse down in public! He has to have someone that he knows will have his back. If you need to discuss something he did or said, do it in private. No one wants to be corrected in front of others. Once discussed and fixed, let it go!
18. Find common hobbies, goals, and dreams. Also, find common ground in your faith. Never stop growing together. Laugh lots. Fall in love over and over again.
19. Many times, we cannot connect or reconnect because we have created a version of them in our mind and hearts that justifies our own weakness. As long as we see them as the caricature we’ve created we cannot connect to them because that caricature is not them. Own your feelings, own your results, meet your own needs, turn to a higher power for what you lack, and allow your higher power to make up for what pain your spouse will cause. Even the best human among us will cause another pain, it’s part of being human.
20. Forgive. Don’t let history hold you or your man hostage.
21. Never underestimate the power of simply touching each other. Sometimes it can say what words cannot.
And Remember to always, choose love. Love is action, not emotion. Don’t miss that.